PARTY PLANNER PLANS HER OWN PARTY
It’s a great day when a party planner plans her own party. I have been planning parties of all kinds for over 20 years. You name it. I’ve planned it. Weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, anniversaries, corporate events, charity fundraisers, golf tournaments, galas, etc. Some events were easier to plan than others but regardless of the level of difficulty, or should I say, the level of easiness, they all had one thing in common – they were all fun and exciting! No event, however, was more fun or exciting to plan than my own daughter’s bat mitzvah.
When my daughter was born in 1999, my husband and I were elated! A precious princess for us. We were so blessed! It didn’t even occur to me at the time (or for the following 10 years) that she would one day have a bat mitzvah. You see, I am Sephardic and it is not customary for Sephardic girls to have bat mitzvahs. At least they didn’t when I was growing up. And while my Ashkenazi husband was accustomed to celebrating bat mitzvahs, he was perfectly content to not have to make one. With the time and energy involved in planning such a simcha, not to mention the cost, he was more than happy to fully embrace my Sephardic traditions, if only for that one time.
All that changed, however, when we decided to enroll our daughter in a Hebrew day school. For the first 10 years of her life, it was not an issue. There would be no bat mitzvah. But when she entered Grade 5, our opinion (or should I say my opinion) began to change. How could she not have a bat mitzvah? How could she attend Hebrew day school, study Torah, learn what it is to be Jewish and then be told “you cannot have a bat mitzvah”. To me, a bat mitzvah is not about the elaborate party (although that too is very nice) but rather about the meaning of what it is to be a bat mitzvah. The meaning of what it is to keep a life of Judaism, a life of Torah, a kosher home, light Shabbat candles, do mitzvot, etc. Of course, the event planner in me was shouting “plan a bat mitzvah…..plan a bat mitzvah!!”.
And so the conversations between my daughter and I began and the question was asked: To have or not to have a bat mitzvah? After a brief discussion, the decision was made. She would have a bat mitzvah! How thrilled was I? After so many years of living vicariously through my clients and planning their simchas, I finally had the opportunity to plan my own simcha. It became official when my daughter asked me if she could hire me as her event coordinator. Of course, I said “yes”!
However, not all family members were initially on board. When I informed my husband that our daughter would be having a bat mitzvah, his first reaction was “but I thought ‘we’ were Sephardic and Sephardics don’t have bat mitzvahs!” My reply to him was: “‘we’ are not Sephardic. “I” am Sephardic and while you are correct, times have changed.” Besides, if our princess wanted a bat mitzvah, then a bat mitzvah she would have. And so, the planning begun.
It was an exciting time for all of us. First item on the agenda –the bat mitzvah girl’s dress. Luckily, the first store we went to proved to be a huge success. After trying on only a few dresses, she selected the winner. A beautiful, pink, princess gown. How appropriate that our princess should wear a princess gown.
Next up – several after school appointments to florists, DJs, photographers, videographers, caterers, venues, etc. The list was long. So much to do. So much to see. So many decisions to be made. So little time! Invitations were selected. Colors were chosen. Décor was planned. Menus were created. The planning was well underway. Thankfully, my twenty years as an event planner saved us much valuable time and ensured we had access to the best and most reliable service providers.
Throughout the entire planning process, I allowed my daughter to make most of the decisions. After all, it was her bat mitzvah. Lucky for us, she has a great sense of style and is very creative and artistic. She knew exactly what she wanted, from the dress to the décor to the food, and everything in between. With everything finalized well in advance of the big day, we sat back, relaxed (kind of) and waited for the big day to arrive.
When the big day finally arrived, we were all overjoyed with happiness and excitement. My daughter looked absolutely beautiful in her pink, princess gown and silver strappy shoes. My little girl was growing up fast (a little too fast for my liking). The day started with family photos. Then we eased into cocktails and hors d’oeuvres while kids and adults alike enjoyed the various activities including two fun photo booths, speaker’s corner, and airbrush giveaways. The evening was filled with great music and dancing, delicious food and fun speeches. My youngest daughter, a natural born performer and the M.C. for the night, captured everyone’s attention each time she took to the microphone. I had to keep reminding her this was not her bat mitzvah.
After a great night of dinner and dancing and even a little drinking (ok, maybe a lot of drinking), the evening came to an end. The smile on my daughter’s face all night was worth every minute (and dollar) of planning this simcha.
RSG Events is a Toronto Event Planner and a leader in the event planning industry. For a free, no obligation consultation, contact 416-398-0217 or raquel@rsgevents.ca
* An excerpt of this article can be found in the Fall 2012 issue of Toronto’s Bar / Bat Mitzvah Guide
